The Lord Will Provide

 

As many of you know, at the end of last summer, our family loaded up and relocated-- again. The movers came, and they worked together like a well-oiled machine as they packed up our belongings- our last 18 months- into boxes. Towers of boxes. Box "sandcastles" in our kitchen and box mazes up stairs. A little boy's playhouse, really. We watched as they quickly wrapped, taped, and stacked. Some boxes that hadn't been opened since the day we moved into the house, just 18 months prior. Items unused in the whirlwind that was the last year and a half.

It is tempting to think that we must have just despised city life. Just 18 short months. But in fact, I don't think either one of us could ever hate that city. That city offered a lot to our family in a time when we needed a city. Amazing, really. It was exactly where we needed to be. And God knew. Those who know us know that we are not huge fans of the hustle and bustle and busyness of the city, but we were blessed by being there. All in God's perfect timing. We were in the place He wanted us to be. And we are confident of that.

But back to the box towers. It was surreal, really-- to see all those boxes, stacked up, and ready to go. It felt like we had just gotten there, but then again, it felt like we had been there forever. After all, so much had happened in that short year and a half. Lives changed.

And then, the men started stacking the boxes onto dollies and rolling it out of the house and onto the truck. Again, a little boy's dream. As you can imagine, this whole process kept these boys very entertained. As my boys felt excitement (and Beckett felt confusion), I felt overwhelmed. Not by one single emotion necessarily. Just overwhelmed. How is it possible to just leave a place where so many memories were made? First claps and waves. First steps. First amazing words spoken. First words read aloud by a little voice. First numbers added. All here. And the little voice in my head says, "Remember Kaylan, this place is not your home..."

True, true. This is not our home. Because we know that our ultimate home and destination is in heaven with our Lord and Savior. But as I walked through this now empty house, and looked at the empty walls, I could see nothing but God's perfect provision- especially during this time of weakness. It overwhelmed me to tears. Tears that wouldn't stop. Tears of amazement and awe of what God had done for our family.

Spoken perfectly by Matt Redman in his song, Never Once,

“Kneeling on this battle ground
  Seeing just how much You’ve done

 Knowing every victory
 Was Your power in us.”

The perfect description of how that moment felt to me.  In that house, we had fought- gone to battle…more than I can even put into words here.  We cried, we laughed, we grew, we grieved.  That house held a lot for us.  And for me, it was the place that God taught me (in a very clear and obvious way) that He is faithful and He provides.  Almost like a slap on the face…a very loving slap. The kind of slap that says, “Be still. And know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)  He cares for us in a deeper way than we can ever understand.  He loves us.  He is there fighting battles with us and providing for us the whole time.  We are not alone.

You see, He put us right there.  In that house.  In the big city.

- 20 minutes from a wonderful Children’s hospital where Beckett visited 8 different specialties more times than I can count.

           - Close to one of my sisters at a time when I needed to be close to her.

- Gave my husband a job that provided wonderful insurance. Insurance that paid for the most expensive of genetic testing. Insurance that paid for home nursing. Insurance that paid for an entire trip to Cincinnati—not just the medical bills, but the flights and hotel stay.  Amazing.

- Provided us with income to pay for food, clothes, a home, and medical bills.

- Moved a long-time friend from the same small hometown to the city at the same time—just 5 minutes away from us. A friend who loved, cared, and helped above and beyond.  A friend who babysat when she knew I couldn’t return the favor.

- Gave my son a school where he felt loved and cared for.

- Built a new playground in our neighborhood that we could walk to and burn off some energy.  A wonderful distraction.

- Put us in a home that kept us safe and comfortable with lots of space and a bathroom for each child when we really needed separate bathrooms. (Even the little provisions are real and evident.)  A home where we grew in huge ways. 

The list could go on and on and on.

A home where every where I looked, I saw that The Lord Will Provide.

It was hard for me to leave that home.  I really do know that this is not my eternal home and all of that stuff in boxes means nothing.  But the lessons I learned in that home are unforgettable. I saw God’s provision for my family in a very clear way.  There were changes in my life that will forever remind me that God is the great provider.  And when I think back to that home, it is as if I am walking through it all over again, looking at the empty walls and seeing God’s provision.

The Very One who numbered all the stars knew that for that 18 months, the big city was exactly where we needed to be.  He is faithful.  The Lord Will Provide. (Gen 22:14)

2 Corinthians 12:9

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.