Always

Sometimes, I sit here in shock when I realize what my days so often consist of now.  I--quite naively--thought I would never be thinking about these things. Deciding how to handle the possibility of a one month hospital stay. Moving things that belong in a bathroom (like towels) to the side to make room for the growing collection of medical supplies. Scheduling life around appointments, medicine, enemas, feedings...And I know the fight could be much harder, much scarier...there are mamas everywhere who have become nurses to their children. And I don't doubt for a second that at some point each one of them steps back and says to themselves, "wow...how did we get here?"

Warning-- this part isn't for the weak of stomach...you might want to skip ahead. But it is our reality, so I thought it would be okay to include. This week we are dealing with a severe rash and blistering on B's skin.  This child's bowel movement literally burnt his skin everywhere it touched.  It wasn't immediate, but over the course of the day, more and more blisters came up.  The pediatrician was truly impressed...not your everyday diaper rash. Everyone's comment was, "wow if this is what the outside looks like, can you imagine what the inside might look like?" The doctor believes his stool was just so acidic that it burnt him. The cloth diapers help keep it from getting to the point that it has in the past because we are not putting the chemicals of disposable diapers up against his injured skin.

You see, the problem is that he has decided he is no longer interested in his ex-lax squares, also known as "Choca." So we replaced the ex-lax squares with liquid senna (the same active ingredient). However, there is something in this liquid that his little body cannot tolerate and it burns his skin.  So the big conundrum is~  What do you do when you cannot tolerate the very medicine that you are medically dependent upon?  We have some ideas and things to try. And we hope every day that he will decide just to eat his choca.  Please be praying that we can get this figured out.

I want to share the lyrics from a song with you. It is called Always by Kristian Stanfill:

My foes are many, they rise against me
But I will hold my ground
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
From You Lord, from You Lord

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always, always

So thankful that my help comes from the Lord- the maker of heaven and earth.  The one who made the moon and the stars cares more about my children than I could ever imagine.  He loves us dearly and provides for us no matter what the battle, and He is here to fight for us.  So we needn't live in fear of the fight, of the storm.  We have HIM.

Thank you for your prayers for our family as we have several big things coming up.  Please pray that his testing on his colon in April will be helpful.  We also ask for prayer in trying to learn what would be best for Beckett in regard to the inpatient hospital stay at Our Children's House.  We are blessed by our praying friends.  Thank you for your patience, love, and grace that you extend to our family.  We are thankful.