The Bumpy Road

I can remember the beginning of all of this...Beckett's journey.  I remember feeding him at the hospital before we left to go home, and my sweet baby screaming instead of eating.  And I remember the nurses telling me they were still waiting on his first BM...and not to be surprised if he spit up a lot because they were kind of waiting on that to happen.  That he seemed full of air.  But that it was okay...his little system would wake up and it would be okay. 

Then I remember when he was admitted for the first time.  Our world was rocked. We were completely shocked.  We all prayed for God's strength to get through this trial.  Family and friends prayed for Beckett as he overcame this bump in the road.  I think even the doctors believed at this point that we would likely get through this rough start, find the right formula, the right medicine, and be on our way. He would outgrow it. He would turn 6 months and start catching up. Once he started rice cereal, everything would work out. Solids would chunk him up...we heard it all, really.

And then at some point, we realized that this wasn't just a bump in the road.  It was our new route, the bumpy road.  What was once thought to be a trial has become our lifestyle.  This is our normal.  Juggling doctors appointments, sleepless nights, tubes in our child...now normal. But normal cannot be mistaken for easy. I must get to the point where I recognize that this isn't crisis mode...this is normal.

We had been forced off the freeway, where you stop off only for a cold Sonic drink or a tank of gas.   Our road feels slightly less populated, and you definitely can't go as fast.  You can't plan very well because you can see past the next turn in the road and the trees that surround it. There are no big green signs to tell you where to exit or which way to go. There is really no way to know what's coming.  It is far from a straight shot. 

We are forced to move a little slower...we can't plan much in advance because we can't see very far down the road.  But we get to slow down.  Enjoy the ride.  Celebrate the little things.  We get to notice the blessings that are all around us.  Time to look at the Son's position, so we can determine which way we need to turn next. We get to cheer for our family when we make it through another rocky area. We enjoy being together. We are each other's best friends because we are slowly navigating this together.  We get to see God's faithfulness in very tangible ways.

I know that in reality very few people are actually flying through life on the freeway. Many of my fellow believers daily travel on their own bumpy roads...different stories and struggles, but bumpy nevertheless. And it's hard. But I believe God kicks us off the freeway and takes us to a place where we become focused on Him. I know God is leading us down this road drawing us close to him, right where he wants us to be.

"When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I" -Psalm 61:2

Please continue to pray for us as we navigate down this unexpected bumpy road. Thank you all for your love and support and encouragement.  It means the world to us. We are blessed. And we know we are not traveling alone.  Thank you.

Love,
Kaylan