Lovin' cloth diapers! Not lovin' antibiotics!

Yes, you read that right. I have entered the world of cloth diapering. I know many of may be thinking that yes, I did need one more thing to do...one more load of laundry...one more thing to keep up with. But, in our situation, with a child who seriously cannot poop on his own, and nearly all BMs are planned, cloth diapers are actually very easy. So I decided to take advantage of our situation, and save some money while wrapping nice soft organic cotton around my baby who has absolutely nothing else natural going for him...For a child who is on formula made from corn syrup solids, has had a tube shoved up his nose and down to his tummy to feed him, and has been on over 15 medicines in his 8 months, there is something very nice and simple about soft cloth diapers. They just make sense. And really, what is one more load of laundry when it already feels like it never ends...

Cloth diapers have come a long way. Gone are the days of pins and big plastic covers. They now come in so many options...including some quite fashionable ones...making it as cheap or expensive as you want it to be. I have researched them off and on over the past couple of years. Yes, that is right...research! There are several brands and types and everyone has their preferences. I will tell you all about the different types in another post for those of you who might be interested. It is simpler than I imagined, and according to my calculations, it should save over 1500 in 2 years.

Well, a couple of months ago, a dear friend of mine gave me just the nudge I needed to take the plunge into CDing Beckett. I had thought about it on and off, but didn't know where to start. There are soooo many options, and those of you who know me, know that I am not the most decisive person in the world. So she gave me a place to start, and I dove in.

I prefer to use an "All-in-One" with Beckett. This means that the waterproof outer layer and absorbent cotton layer are all one piece, so you put it on just as you would any disposable diaper. It has adjustable snaps on the sides and adjustable snaps on the rise, as well. This is so you can adjust it to fit from about 10 pounds to 35 pounds. They should last all the way to potty training so it seems like a good investment to me! It is super easy, and I find it to be the trimmest fit on the little man. I hope you enjoy the pictures of our sweet boy in his "fluff." The airplane diaper is my favorite! As always, I couldn't pick just one picture... Oh, and I had to add one of Brant in his favorite thing to wear! :)

On a health-related note, we just finished a second round of Flagyl (the antibiotic for the infection in the GI system) due to yet another bacterial infection in his colon. So he has now been treated for c.diff twice. C.difficile is caused by the antibiotics that he takes for motility and the antibiotics he has been on to treat his ear infections in the past. You can read about the frustrations with it in one of my prior posts here. Well, we finished treating the bacteria infection in his colon, C.difficile, on Monday. And today, he was diagnosed with yet another ear infection. So, we continue our cycle, as once again, Beckett is on an antibiotic for his ears. Our frustrating cycle goes something like this: ear infection- antibiotics- c.diff- Flagyl...and again...and again. Tubes, here we come!

Please pray that the antibiotics do not compound the problem we have with his colon, and that his little body is able to keep the bacteria infection from coming back! It will become a problem if this continues. Thank you so much for checking on us!

The Zoo

Our day at the zoo:
Beckett- ready to roll and check out all the animals!

Beckett absolutely loved looking at the fish in the aquarium. He just stared in amazement. It was pretty precious to watch him as his little mind soaked it all in.

Checking out the elephants...and tired of me taking pictures.

Brant has always been a huge fan of giraffes. We have several small ones that hang around the house, but nothing compares the the big, real ones at the zoo! He did mention wanting one from the zoo to come live in our backyard as a pet. Hmmm...I had to give away our 2 pound chihuahua, but yes, let's take on a giraffe. :) I love my sweet boy and his big dreams! He amazes me everyday.

Precious boy!

I haven't spent much time sharing about our move and settling into our new city. It has definitely been a big adventure...slightly chaotic at times, but relatively smooth. I think you never really realize how much STUFF you have until you have to unpack it all and find a place to put it! We decided early on that we weren't going to get overwhelmed or get in a hurry to have everything just right, but that we would do the best we could starting with the essentials (clothes, bottles, towels...) and work our way to the details (like hanging decor on the walls...which still hasn't completely happened. But it looks nice sitting on the floor against the wall until we get to it. :) )

A few weekends ago, we finally felt like we were "finished enough" with unpacking and settling into the house. It is by no means a complete picture, but it's good enough for now. I guess decorating gets a different priority when you are getting very little sleep. :) We can actually find 90% of our stuff, and we are probably too tired to care about the other 10% that has yet to be uncovered...or unpacked. So we decided to take a break and get out of the house. And what better place to do that than the zoo. The zoo has always been one of Brant's favorite places, and we thought it was time to introduce Beckett all the fun, amazement, and Texas heat that the zoo has to offer. Of course, I think we went on the day when every other family had the same idea. We had a lot of fun, and it was great to just be out enjoying time together as a family. I am so thankful for days like these. They are the best!

One of Those Days

Today was one of those days...you know the type. The day where nothing horrible happens, but you are just kind of ready for it to end, so you can go to bed, and start again tomorrow. Yeah, today was one of those...

One of those days that started too early.

One of those days where you spend too long looking for something you thought would be relatively easy. It took me an hour and 45 minutes to find a pharmacy that would custom make a medicine for Beckett...It's a drug that needs to be compounded and even some compounding pharmacies could not make it and did not have the materials needed.

One of those days where people think you have a fax machine or easy access to one, and I don't.

One of those days where people think you have the time and energy to deal with your insurance company covering this special-made medicine, and I don't.

One of those days where your ready for dinner and bath time by 4:00.

One of those days where you sweat the "small stuff."

Just one of those days...

And then it ended perfectly with a precious reminder from my little 3 year old. He was praying before bed, and after thanking God for many, many people, he said, "And please make Beckett's belly all better when we get up there. Oh, and please put lots of stairs in my big, big house up there with a big backyard with a hill...(a few more requests) OK, thanks. Amen." What a beautiful and much needed reminder of what is eternal. So amazing that God would use my 3 year old son to snap me out of what is worldly and temporary and remind me of what is true.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

What a precious ending to one of those days...

Every Three Hours...

We had our follow up appointment with the new GI doctor today. The good news is that I really like him and am thankful we get to see him. The bad news is that I wish we didn't have to see him. Anyways, that being said, we have unraveled more of the puzzle of B's health problems.

Beckett had his gastric emptying scan about week and a half ago. It is not easy to watch your baby strapped to a table with adhesive tape for 90 minutes. He was fairly upset for a lot of the test (who wouldn't be?) and I felt pretty helpless to do anything to make him happy. He just kept staring at me like, "pick me up! Don't you hear me screaming at you!" And I couldn't. I think it almost made it harder that he could see me because it is hard to see mommy when there is nothing she can do. You know what I mean? Can you imagine just standing over your baby's bed while he tries to fall asleep? Not easy...All in all, I think it went pretty well once I found a good Baby Einstein DVD to keep him distracted. Apparently, he is one of the few infants that doesn't fall asleep during this test. Big surprise...

Anyways, today we found out that he does have delayed gastric emptying/gastroparesis. This means that his stomach empties food into the small intestine at a slower rate. Unfortunately, his colon also moves at a slow rate because of the abnormality of the nerves. We do not know the exacts about his small intestine, but I think it can be assumed that it must be slow, too. Anyways, this DGE can be the blame for much of his spit up and vomit. If the food doesn't empty into the small intestine, it just comes back up. This can also result in his tummy filling up to quickly because it doesn't empty at a normal rate.

Well, because of this, I am back to feeding the baby every three hours around the clock...the 7 month old baby...No food, just formula every three hours. We are going to feed him smaller amounts every three hours and hope that he puts on some weight. He gained 0 ounces over the last few weeks. The NG tube came back up, as well, because continuous feeds on a pump put smaller amounts in he tummy at a time so it doesn't get so overwhelmed with a bulky feeding all at once. We are going to see how this feeding through the night goes, and hopefully, we can sidestep the tube.

All this being said, there is nothing easy about having a sick baby. I was at the grocery store pharmacy in the big, over populated suburb, and they knew me. I got there with a new prescription, and they asked me how Beckett was doing? (It is very kind and friendly, and one reason why I really like this pharmacy and all...I do recognize that.) But they know ME. They know MY 7 month old baby. Out of all the tons of people in this area, after only living here 2 months, they know us. And I think that is one of those moments where it hits me...my baby is sick. He is on 8 different medicines daily, in addition to his prescription formula and miscellaneous antibiotics for ear infections. We are doing everything we can for him, and limiting his meds as much as possible. But he actually needs this medicine just to poop. Hate to say it, but its true. All the medicine is just to make my child digest food. Yes, it is hard. Wondering what the effect of all the drugs has on him...or will have on him. Wondering which one makes him cranky and crampy? Wondering which one might keep him awake? But without it, his little body cannot process food. And digesting food is a must. I wonder how this will work out in the long term, but again just trying our best to take it a day at a time and give it all to God.

Please keep praying for us as we continue to get more pieces to the puzzle. Please pray that I get some energy for going back to the "newborn stage." Please pray that Beckett's body will handle the feeds and start figuring out what to do with it. Please also pray for sweet, energetic Brant. Thank you so much for listening.

Yummy Sweet Potatoes

About a month ago, we got the okay to try giving Beckett some basic baby foods like rice, oatmeal, and sweet potatoes. I don't know if you can tell from the pcitures, but he loved sitting in his high chair at the table with the family and enjoyed eating the food. Even big brother got in on the excitement of feeding Beckett his first foods. Beckett got so excited when he saw his food coming! I knew he was ready to sit at the table with us at mealtimes because he was seemed sad to be down in his bouncy seat while the rest of us ate. I just wasn't sure how ready his system would be for solids. I think we were extra thrilled to try his first foods because at one point we felt so unsure of if we would be able to feed him at the typical age.

Well, it turns out that his system is not quite ready to handle the bulk of baby food. He became VERY backed up, and the guess is that it is from the solids. The doctor told us to stop the foods until we can get a good plan going to keep food (only his formula, at this point) moving through his body. Then, we will revisit the solids. He only got to eat them for a week or two, but he did love them. So, for now, we are back to bottles only. I worry at times that he will never be able to tolerate solid foods, and that is a little overwhelming. It does seem hopeful though and we have no reason to think that, so I try to slow down and take it a day at a time. Because he loved his food so much, we took a break from putting him at the table in his high chair because I knew he would expect food. I have spent the last few days getting him used to the idea of sitting in the high chair with a sippy cup to play with, and he seems pretty happy with that. He does look like he would love a bite of our food (seriously...he tries to grab it), but just sitting and playing is working out for now.

After a bit of trouble with his BMs this week and an unexpected trip to the clinic at TCH, we are going to try a change in his laxatives tomorrow. Hopefully, it will help and he will feel better soon. I think it will just take a lot of adjusting until we figure out the right medicines to keep his little body moving. And hopefully, before too long, we can try food again and have success. Thanks for the prayers!

Happy Easter

Brant's Easter basket was so full that he could hardly carry it!...A little dramatic...

Brant was super excited about hunting for eggs and loved all the treats inside!

Precious Beckett

2 Corinthians 12:9

But He said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

This Bible verse hangs on our fridge these days. I am so thankful for our Lord and Savior. I am so thankful that He is abundantly strong when I am so very weak. I am so thankful that during my times of hurt and weakness, His absolute power is perfect. I have seen his power and provision in so many ways over the last 7 months, and really throughout the last 28 years. He is all we need. I am so thankful that we have been saved by grace and that we can have hope because of Jesus. Thank you, Lord.

On the Right Track

Our appointment yesterday was such an answer to prayer. Our new GI seems wonderful for Beckett. He specializes in motility disorders and does a lot of study in the area. He took the time to listen to our concerns and questions and answered each one of them. I am very thankful that we get to see this specialized doctor. I feel like we are on the right track, and Beckett will soon be doing better with the right balance of meds and food monitored by Dr. C. We did get some "sort-of" answers. By "sort of," I mean that they can never be sure exactly what is to come (but of course, no one can be sure of that...) There are several "probably" type of answers, but they are optimistic. First, yes, there is something wrong with the nerves in his Enteric Nervous System. The ENS controls the gastrointestinal system. His has some abnormalities. BUT, it is possible that over time, it will develop. There is no way to know how long or if it will, but this is our prayer for him. In the meantime or for as long as needed, this can probably be managed with medicines and laxatives. "There are lots of tools in the shed," as the doctor said. So he gave us much hope that this is manageable. Several of the drugs do have some hard side effects which is something to consider with the duration that he is on each drug, so I am sure there will be some off time and scheduling involved. It is a little concerning, but we have been assured that the risk of side effects is very low while his need for the medicine is very high. So, he will be closely monitored until we figure out just the right combinations to help him "thrive." Of course, as with anything there are some risks and worst case scenarios, but we are very hopeful that with the help of Dr. C, Beckett will do very well. Dr. C ordered a gastric emptying scan to be done in order to see if Beckett has some level of gastroparesis or delayed gastric emptying. Basically, he will drink his formula, be swaddled and strapped to a table, and they will time how long it takes his stomach to empty. If his nerves and muscles in his stomach are not responding as they should, the emptying process will be delayed. We have a follow up in two weeks to discuss more of the plan. As long as he keeps gaining as he is (slowly but surely), there is not a feeding tube in our near future which is also a relief. We will be doing a colon cleanse over the next several days to try to clean out his colon of any blockages. He is currently very constipated, and when constipation is severe and chronic, it can cause severe infection and problems with the colon. So we need to get the little guy all cleaned out. Because of his inability to digest food well, he is still on an Elecare (his special formula) only diet, but it is concentrated to a higher calorie level. Solid baby foods are very hard on his system. We are not sure what the near future holds as far as what he can and can't eat. Hopefully, in a couple weeks, we will have even more answers, but I think we are feeling hopeful and optimistic about the situation and the direction we are headed. I will let you know how the gastric emptying scan goes. Hoping he will sleep through it! Thanks so much for your prayers and for checking on us. I am so thankful.