On Becoming Tubie-wise

Before the birth of each of our boys, I read the book, "On Becoming Babywise." Now I wouldn't describe myself as a serious Babywise mom, and there are definitely parts that I don't agree with. But it is a great resource for scheduling your child's day and helping them develop a rhythm for day and night, etc. I found the scheduling of things very helpful with Brant as a baby. He quickly and fairly easily, fell right into the rhythm of eating, being awake, and taking a nap. My days were fairly predictable. I somehow thought that this would help me be prepared for adding another baby to the family. I was so wrong. Raising Beckett has been completely different from Brant so far. I am slowly becoming "tubie-wise." This feeding tube thing is harder to learn then you might think. Here is what I have learned so far:

1. Continuous night feeds aren't as convenient as that might sound. Yes, I am sure many of you may think how nice to have a machine feeding your baby so you can sleep. However, it has been anything but that. I am awake more now. And you think of things such as the fact that you can't feed him formula that has been sitting in the bag on the pump stand, unrefrigerated for 8 hours. I mean, you would never feed your baby prepared formula in a bottle that has sat out for 8 hours. So, when Kyle and I realized this would mean waking every 2 hours to add fresh formula to the bag, my engineer husband quickly devised a way to keep the formula cold for 8 hours involving an insulated lunch box and lots of cool packs.

2. A nursing degree would be very helpful in feeding a tube feed child. Any time before I put anything into his tube, I must check the position of the tube with a stethoscope. I put a syringe in the end of his tube, the stethoscope on his belly, and actually blow 3 mL of air into his already gassy belly to listen for air in his tummy. If I hear the air, I know it is in the right place. This would all be much easier if I knew where his tummy was. (I have now learned, but still struggle with it every night). I also have to draw formula back through the tube to assure its placement. I have also learned to vent air from his tummy using the tube. The tube also needs "flushing" to stay fresh. This upkeep and "nursing part" has become the most stressful part of the feeding tube for me.

3. A huge sudden increase in formula in a baby's diet will make him VERY cranky. Imagine if you were used to a 2000 calorie per day diet, and someone suddenly increased it to 1 4000 calorie per day diet. You wouldn't feel so great either.

4. Timing is key. I am still trying to figure out the best time to start the pump. I don't want it to be too close to his last bottle of the day to where he will be over full- cause that makes him mad. But I also don't want to wait so long that he is too hungry to wait for something that only pumps one oz per hour into his belly.

5. It is hard to leave him alone for even a minute without watching him for fear of him pulling out his tube. He enjoys watching his mobile in his crib, but now I just wonder about the tube the whole time...

6. No book on healthy sleep habits, scheduling, baby whispering or even the happiest babies on the block will help me with this.

7. It is exhausting. Counting ounces and calories and timing it all just right. Making sure he doesn't burn too many calories while eating. Making sure he doesn't burn too many calories being awake or upset. I am exhausted, and I don't deal with many of the medical complications that many other moms of tubies deal with. Many of these children require around the clock care. I admire the strength of these parents doing what feels like the hardest job on earth. But still, I am exhausted.

8. It is worth the hard work. This week we are thrilled that BECKETT GAINED NEARLY 7 OZ! Babies at this age are expected to gain one once per day, so about 2 lbs per month. Up until now, Beckett has gained 2 lbs in 4 months. So we are very excited about this gain! Also, I have noticed a decrease in the amount of spit up today. Yay! It is odd that this tube-- that honestly wears me out--could change his quality of life. That is a good thing.

Thanks for checking in on us. Hope you are having a good Wednesday!