So, I have Mickey Mouse Clubhouse- also know as, "Hot Dog," around here-- blaring in the living room and Beckett is asleep so I decided I needed to take a minute to explain why we have ended up with an NG tube again.
Sweet Beckett has the oral mechanisms and the ability to eat by mouth, but for some unknown reason, his little body just isn't gaining weight. He does take bottles during the day, and up to this point, he took a bottle at night as well. For the first 10 weeks of his life, I woke up every three hours around the clock to feed him. At times, he doesn't necessarily enjoy the bottle, but he will take it. He seems to eat better when sleepy and relaxed. We have known for over a month now that placing the NG tube was a very likely possibility. We were just very hopeful that maybe he was about to take off and start gaining, so we put it off. We tried adding rice cereal to his bottles to help keep it down and add calories, but that seemed to make it worse. He would scream and vomit and then choke on the vomit to the point of turning red because it was so much thicker. We quickly stopped feeding him rice. We have also tried Simply Thick (a gel thickener), but that did not seem to help either. He is on Prevacid 2 times a day, and he takes an antibiotic (Erythromicen) 3 times a day to help with motility (movement of food through the system). His formula is also concentrated to be 24 calories per ounce (as opposed to the typical 20 calories), but still he has not shown substatial gain. We managed to hold off on the tube though because he was gaining (ever slowly- but still, it was gain). Well last week we had a set back, and Beckett lost 5 ounces. After this loss, the doctor ordered his NG placement as well as the schedule for the continuous feeding at night. Whether the loss was due to a food sensitivity or a slight bug or who knows what, Beckett just can't afford to lose any. 11 lbs might not sound that small, but I guess when you consider he was nearly 9 lbs at birth, it shows very little gain over 15 weeks. So in went the NG tube. The goal is that it will help "catch up."
So here we are, feeding our baby via a tube at night, still looking for answers. Still wondering why he doesn't seem to gain, despite eating. He does spit up a lot, but I am certain that he keeps some in. So at this point, we are still looking for answers. I, for one, just do not feel like "Failure to Thrive" is a diagnosis. Instead, it seems more like a symptom. I want to know the "why?" The "why" to his crying and discomfort and lack of gain.
Despite not knowing why, I do feel peace because I know that God is in charge and He knows everything there is to know about Beckett and our family. God has a perfect plan for our little man. I find myself wondering things like how long is he going to have the tube, or why does he seem to need so many calories to grow, or isn't this just a phase. But then I remember that God knows. And that gives me peace.
Beckett has a funny personality, and he loves to laugh. Especially at his big brother. I just had to post this picture. When he feels good, he is one talkative little guy with an amazing smile. We love him.
No comments:
Post a Comment